The Roadmap To My Roots

I'm so tired of being judged by people, but quite frankly I'm at the point of my life where I'm an open book. Now if someone comes up to me and asks me if I'm a recovered addict I say yes, if people ask me about my father I tell them, there is no point in concealing myself. I'm so confident in who I am that I don't deal with individuals who feel the need to bestow their prejudices on me. I LOVE my past, I love every wrong turn, every heart ache, every lesson. The past has made me who I am today, and I love her. For my senior year in college I was extremely preppy, I dressed as preppy as they come. After graduation, I felt so lost and dishonest towards my soul. I believe a huge part of that was how I was portraying myself to the public. Labels were everything to me, Lilly Pulitzer and vineyard vines were my everyday attire, and I was living a lie. It was this giant mask that I wore for the Flagler College show. I made the self discovery that I was doing all of this because it was the complete extreme opposite of what I used to be; so I never got questioned about my past. No one ever believed the fact that I used to smoke cigarettes. I couldn't handle telling the truth to people anymore, I wasn't able to be open so I closed myself off with an Oxford button down and Jcrew chinos. To take this even further, I think subconsciously it also might have been a way to assure that I stayed on the right track and graduated.

Everyone should get to the point that I have reached, it's wonderful

Be true to who you are, to your soul because before you know it you'll need a roadmap as well to get back to your roots. So in spite of what others may feel or say about you as an individual, be unapologetically yourself my loves.

I have lost countless friends, boyfriends, respect from elders, and so forth when they have discovered the truth about my past. From a psychological stand point I understand, which gives me the power of forgiveness and love. I don't hold hatred toward any of them, but it does sadden me the pure factor of ignorance. I just wish people researched what they are so quick to criticize.

Warm Hugs,

Elle